Dating fear commitment
Usually the art of pushing and pulling and seduction are the domain of the commitment “phobe.” The answer dwells deeply in the family of origin survival patterns. People who are commitment phobic feel they need to cut off their feelings after a certain point of knowing someone as a means of feeling in control and feeling emotionally protected.
We distance ourselves from feeling what we do and ignoring the voice in our head that knows better.
We close ourselves off and lose our ability to trust others a little more with each heartbreak we experience.
And in the midst of all this, we wonder why we still feel alone.
It was a non-relationship that resulted in a non-breakup, but the pain and heartbreak she felt after were entirely real.
Our generation has started a culture of non-dating and stages of talking, where commitment is optional and relationships are fuzzy gray areas that are illegible, messy and confusing.
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When they find someone that they feel would measure up the push/pull journeys begin. You know what I am talking about: The person is fully present and ensconced in compliments and sweet nothings, and then they don’t call for four days. When the commitment-phobic person is there, they are thinking at the back of their mind about their backdoor way out at all times.